Sunday, October 27, 2013

The Church of the Holy Sepulchre, Jerusalem

I had just done a tour of the Biblelands and I had seen many different places, and I have to say, it was so great to see them.... However, because of all the people and ornamentation around each site I often felt 'dry' while there. Shepherded in and shepherded out. There was no feeling or emotion or significance that I felt while visiting most of these places, and I felt a bit sad. I arrived in Jerusalem at the hostel where I was staying and I was really praying, Lord, these places are where you walked, where you lived, where you breathed, where you died - help to make it real for me.

So I dropped off my gear and I headed straight to the church of the holy sepulchre - the site of Calvary hill, where Jesus' cross had stood, and his tomb. I was rushing there because I knew that it was closing soon. And as I went there, an amazing thing happened - all the streets and pathways and alleys became empty - only a few people, and it was only 6.30pm, hardly late. I was wondering why it was so quiet because I had been bracing myself for a battle of crowds.

I found the church through the labyrinth of covered alleys lined with shops (most were closed or were closing) and I walked inside. I had heard online that the church closed at 7 and by now it was 6.45, so I quickly rushed up the staircase to calvary hill where the cross stood. There were a few people there, not many, but enough to form a 5 minute queue to touch the stone that had apparently sat beneath the cross.

As I was in line so many thoughts were running through my head - I was wondering about the accuracy of the claim that this was THE rock. But most of all I was scared that I would feel nothing - that it would be another numb tourist experience in the very place that is meant to be the site of the most incredible act in history. So I continued to pray and I really asked the Lord to make it real for me.

So it was finally my turn and I knelt down and put my hand through a small golden hole where you can touch the stone. I touched it and I felt nothing, it was just a stone. Inside I was thinking "ohhh Lord, I spose that's it then, its just like everything else", but then as I retracted my hand and moved away, I was hit by such intense grief I started to cry and cry.

I moved to the side and found a place in front of the cross where I could kneel. And I knelt there on the floor and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. And when the tears stopped, I felt so much peace. I sat there for a long time - even though it was after the official closing time, they let us stay for a lot longer, I was there in front of the cross for about an hour. I really felt like the Lord was seeking my heart and wanted to get me alone - away from all the people who I talk with all day long.

I finally looked up from where I was kneeling and I noticed again that the place was really clearing out. It was becoming so still and peaceful. I went again to the stone of the cross, and I had such peace in my heart. I went there and as I slipped my hand through the golden hole and touched the rock, I just whispered thank you. Thank you Lord Jesus. Then I stood up and walked down the stairs (and I had no pain or pins and needles from kneeling for an hour or anything!).

I walked down another staircase towards the tomb. When I reached there the last people had left and I had the whole place to myself. I was able to take time and not be shepherded about. I just stood there and I could feel the strong presence of the Lord. I thought to myself that yes indeed this is Holy ground that I am standing on. I took my time and was really enjoying being completely by myself. Then I slowly climbed the stairs and was heading to the main part of the church where the pews were, when a security person approached me and said that they were about to close the church. I had seen everything that was important to me, and it was almost 8pm, so I left and walked back out into the quiet streets.

Once again, there were pretty much no people out at all. I walked back to my hostel and just spent the night by myself, not talking to anyone, just being with the Lord. I was so grateful to the Lord for giving me that sacred time with him by myself. On my travels I was constantly surrounded with people and had very little time to just spend in solitude with the Lord. That was my special time. Right there in Jerusalem.

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